Sunday, December 13, 2009

Second Shift Starts at 3 A.M.

I have found one of those rare moments when all is silent. Everyone sleeps. The rain falls hard outside the window and I sit in the pre-dawn quiet, sipping tea and listening to the celtic Christmas music I found in Tim and Suzanne's cd stack. I want to find the right words, I want to be witty and profound but at 4:38am Congo-time I am content to send a word of greeting to everyone and to say I am thinking of you and wishing that you were all coming over in awhile, casseroles in hand, eager to pick up a baby and talk to me about life. Yesterday was challenging - our first day without Grandpa Tim, just the four of us (2 vs. 2- adult to baby)- we consternated over Amari's diaper rash (what does diaper rash look like anyway?!) and despaired over how much Desmond is spitting up (way more than any person should). But how do I know? At just 72 hours of life together, I find myself asserting "this just isn't like him" and I have to chuckle because really 72 hours is too short of an amount of time to be the expert on anything/body much less six week old babies.

Early, early this morning (right around 3am, when my shift starts) I had a rare 45 minutes after David went up to bed and Likabo was sleeping, to just hang out with Amari. I fed and changed her, then stretched out on the coach with her, our faces looking at each other, only inches apart. I smile and she smiles. We do this for awhile, sharing this secret smiling game. Her eyes, alert and playful, seemed to offer me some kind of mom approval- like she was telling me she had decided to keep me. It was one of the best moments. Ever.


David is in schedule-and-chart mode. We are collecting data around the clock now, we color code sleeping, feeding and bowel movements (among other unsavory excretions) on excel spreadsheets on his macbook. This is way too much fun. Each shift change we study the patterns and marvel at what we imagine we have learned from this exercise in careful participant observation. No wonder social scientists make such great parents, right? Ha. And the joke really is on us because more often then not, we end up throwing our hands in the air and laughing at ourselves, at the circumstances that brought us to this latest adventure. Here we are in Kinshasa. At Christmas-time. Hanging with our six week old kids. Creating spreadsheets of their burps and giggles. Don't know much French. Don't know much about babies (as I am quickly finding out). Hanging out at Tim and Suzanne's home (without Tim & Suzanne) in the DRC. Skyping people several continents away for baby advice. Negotiating the culturally variable advice of Mama Josephine and Mama Sharon (to use powder or not to use powder??). Sleeping in shifts. Twins. How utterly, wonderfully absurdly, good.

6:45am Des & Amari are both down again. I have a weak cup of coffee and am listening to the chatter of morning birds. The rain has passed for now. The sky is hazy. I open the curtain a crack to check on the mango tree outside the gate. The tree is heavy with fruit. Life is good this Monday morning. I laugh. David sleeps. Amari cries. Desmond grunts. And off I go....

7 comments:

  1. I love you guys! Laughing at the spreadsheet though. What a wonderful time for you all~of course you probably won't remember much due to sleep deprivation. Need to skype soon. Sophie is dying to talk to you.

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  2. The babies are beautiful! Congrats! It sounds like you guys are kind of busy, but if you happen to run back into Pastor Loma and Mama Josephine, we believe they are trying to get our future daughter into their care in the next few days. She is about 2.5 years old and her name is Kethia. If you happen to cross paths with Pastor Loma and he has her in his care, we would be so very grateful for pictures, video, anything. We just have one poorly lit picture of her with a bag of chips in front of her face. Praying for sleep for the 4 of you!

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  3. The joys of parenthood! Where are the instructions. Good one. I'm sure you already feel the same, even if these are your first infants. And even being only 72 hours into it. What a wonderful, and utterly unforgettable feeling of "family" you must have now. Laying next too and looking into Amari's eyes. Or in the fleeting moments you and David have together. You dont even need to say it to each you. It will just be in the look you give each other. "We are a family". How awesome. Congratulations to you both.

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  4. OMG - so great to read all of this. the best parents ever, you are.

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  5. i am loving these updates. must be so overwhelming and fun all at once. and i vote no on the powder. :o) Jo

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  6. I enjoy reading your thoughts and concerns about caring for the babies. Just know we have all been there. Stori and my older kids are 8 and 9. When we got Chad and Ian we have had many of the discussions, debates and questions about how to do this that you all are having. Hang in there. The only advice I have is sleep when you can! You are blessed to have two beautiful gifts. Cherish the time you havve learning how...

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  7. How beautiful this all is! You are doing such a great job!! I have missed being able to skype this week, but I am working when you are awake, and am available to chat when you (somebody at least) is asleep. Will try this weekend. I so wish I were there to give you some relief. You are both such superstar parents. I can't wait to see you come home with your children, with such an air of knowing what you are doing. Again, so amazing to be a part of this. Wish so much it was in person, but soon enough...!

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